Challenges

  Life is tough sometimes. Actually it is tough for most of times but usually we can tolerate it. But in these days it is really difficult to tolerate it for me. It is not because i am having such hard days. It's because i am taking small problems in my life and converting into such big problems. I have no idea why am i acting like this. I am not crazy or sociopath. I guess i am a normal person like everyone. But last days, even a little problem could be enough to drug me desperate mood.

  A few weeks ago i had a very long conversation with one of my neigbour. We were talking from this and that. And the main subject was really far away from my desperate mood. And she just started to talk her mother’s behaviour. As she told, her mother always make her life very difficult. It is so hard to be happy in her life. She is always complaining about problems and finally she is not happy at all. And she also have a lot of problems with her daughter,which is my neighbour. And in the middle of one of their fruious discussion, my neigbour told her mother, "mum,tell me only one moment that you became happy in your life." And her mother started to thinking and struggling to find one. And what her daughter said is, i have not any moment that i did not become happy in my whole life.

  That's because her daughter has not an awesome life. She got divorced. She has a little kid and kid has also some problems and she is trying to grow this kid all alone. Of course her life is harder than most of people. But what she said is, i don't have perfect life. I don't have the best opportunities. But when i live my life, i always think, what i got now? Hmm, i got this, this and that. So i will make my life better by using what i got. And i will not make me sad what i don't get.

  For example if i make myself upset about my bad marriage, what is gonna be like rest of my life? And you know what people, she is happier than me. Maybe when i reach her age –cause she is about 30- i will have more opportunities and have better life, i dont know, maybe. But even this, she is happier than me. Because she just learned how to handle challenges of life and how to convert it to happiness. Her happiness is not because she is happy all the time. Her happiness is because she is enjoying with the moment. She is not upset about what she lived in the past. Or she is not upset because which facilities she don't have. And that's why, whenever i see her, i am feeling better. She is like a smiling and positive energy machine that gives happines to everyone.

 So, back to the story. When she talks about her mum, i saw myself in the story. I am such an unhappy person. And sometimes, it can be very difficult to find a good aspect about my life. But when i read my very old blog writings -like one year ago- i am seeing myself very happy, hopeful and positive. So i wasn't be like this forever. Somehow, i became an unhappy person. And in these days, i am forcing myself to think, why did i change? What happened in my life and, i became this much unhappy.

 But as you guess, i couldn't reach any results. So i just left to think why this happened. Now i need to think how can i become happy again. How can i gain the joy of my life? I need to think on this subject but as you guess again, this is not an easy work. I am thinking and making a life decision; from now forever, i will be very optimistic about events and circumstances. But it is not just working anyway. But i need to gain this positive thinking before i graduate cause the coming life will be really hard to handle. So i just should to do something right now.  

 You may wonder dear reader, if you did not reach a solution, why are you writing here? Here is the answer. When i wrote down,  on my blog, some solutions is coming to my mind one by one. This place is like a instructor for me.

Actually i just remembered something. I guess this is some words from one of the videos that i watched a few weeks ago. It says; everbody has different challenges and opportunities. So everybody should try to do something on their creation.

This is totally true. Maybe my challenges is somebody else’s oppourtinties. Who knows? I just got used to complain about everything but this is not a true way to follow. Yeah, all of us have some tough times in our lifes. But this means is not we will ruin our life just because of some challenges. Challenges are in everywhere. Why am i ruining my life because of some difficulties? When i wrote down, i just realise how stupid i am.   

Sometimes i miss my childhood. The days that you don't even know the meaning the deep thinking. Cause you didn't live a difficulty, why would you need think deeply? But now i know for sure, there is no way to go back to childhood. I wish there was, but unfortunately there was not. So if it is not possible to back to your infancy days, you have to handle your problems.

 You got opportunities and challenges. Maybe there are better than the others, maybe not, we don't know. But you have to live your life with what you got. And also you need to try to be happy what you lived. If you will not be happy what you lived, then why are you living this life? You need to be happy with both your good and bad decisions. You need to be glad and thankful, what you had and what you don't have. Cause this is how life works. You don't know if it will be better that you have more opportunities. We don't know.

 So complainig is useless. If you couldn't know the end of the road, you have no rigth to decide what is better for you. If you decide, maybe this will be wrong and that's why we have limited minds. So maybe the solution is not be upset about what you got, even if they were bad things. Maybe the solution is, to be grateful for everything, try to do your best, and be happy what your lived.