Skip to main content

To Write Or Not To Write.. That Is The Question

3 min read

I have been procrastinating writing the new chapter of my thesis for a while and it's gotten to the point where it's really bothering me. I know the topic, I have the resources, I have a detailed outline: why cannot I start writing? This was the question I asked myself this morning. Unfortunately, I don't know the answer. I have a few theories, though.

First of all, the last time I wrote a big chunk was back in June. So, it's been more than six months now. I wrote some bits and pieces during this time, but nothing academic. And now I feel like I just lost my ability to do it. I know it is ridiculous, but it's possible that this is one of the reasons for my procrastination.

My second theory is the fear of feedback. When I first got feedback for my report, I was quite shocked. Because I believe that was the first time I had received such extensive and thorough comments on something I had written. Yes, I got lots of feedback from my assignments in my master's, but those do not count. Anyway, feedbacks are frightening for sure. But the thing is, I already know that my first draft will be quite shitty- maybe not as bad as the first draft of my nine months report- but it will still require a lot of edits, which makes me nervous. I could describe myself as a perfectionist, which may be problematic when you're not perfect.

My third theory is that I forgot about my subject, and now it feels extremely hard to remember. Well, this might sound absurd, but in fact, it is not. One of the biggest problems that PhD students face on a daily basis is understanding the limitations of their subject. Of course, you know your PhD subject very well. You have written a proposal about it before applying to the program, remember? But unfortunately, it is nothing. You may still be struggling with the scope of your study after a ten-page proposal, a thirty-page report, and three presentations. Sometimes I just want to scream, ''Could somebody please explain to me what the hell my PhD topic is?'' And this somebody is usually your supervisor. However, as the captain of your big project, you are expected to decide most things.

My fourth theory is that I am simply lazy. Well, I'd want to raise an objection to this one. Because I know myself. I am doing work here and there. So, it would not be fair to me to describe myself as lazy. But I am running away from the writing process for sure. I am expanding my outline giving it more detail day by day. I am downloading more articles and doing more research to stay up-to-date. I am cleaning my room, desk, and every button on my keyboard so that I don't have to write. And finally, today, I read a chapter about writing from a PhD guidance book- because that's exactly what I need right now.

It is so sad that there is no magic trick to get you to start writing. You just have to sit and write. At the end of the day, the chapter isn't going to write itself. I wish it could, though.   

 


Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

YLSY Sürecim

Üniversite üçüncü sınıf. Aziz hoca bir dersimizde “Türkiye'de akademisyen olabilmenin yolları”nı anlatıyor. O zaman bunun için 3 yol var: ÖYP, cari alımlar ve MEB bursu. O gün MEB bursunu duyunca çok heyecanlandığımı hatırlıyorum. Anneme anlatıyorum hemen, 6 sene çok fazla diyor; babam, Türkiye'de bir iş sahibi olmamı söylüyor. Benim için hiç kolay bir ikna süreci olmuyor. Kendimi ifade etme çabalarım hala gözümün önünden gitmiyor.  Bir sene sonra ÖYP kaldırılıyor. Yıkılıyorum. Sonra mezun oluyorum. Sonra 2016 yılında ilk kez YLSY tercih kılavuzu yayınlanıyor. İçinde özel hukuk yok. Benim hukuku sevme nedenim olan özel hukuk yok. Başvurmuyorum. Ama gerçekten çok üzülüyorum. Aradan birkaç ay geçiyor. Yıldırım Beyazıt Üniversitesi'ne yüksek lisansa kabul ediliyorum. Ve YLSY'yi tamamen unutuyorum. Çok güzel bir yüksek lisans dönemi... Hocalarımı çok seviyorum. Okulumu çok seviyorum. Beni gerçekten tatmin ediyor. Sonra staj başlatıyorum. Yüksek lisans ve stajı aynı...
14 comments
Read more

Yeni Mezun Bir Hukukçuyu Neler Bekliyor- Part 1

Merhaba, İlk olarak çok uzun zamandır yazı yazmadığımı belirtmeliyim. En son yazıyı kasımda yazmışım. Kasımdan bu yana geçen 8 ay boyunca çeşitli yoğunluklarım olduğundan ve bir süre sonra da araya zaman girdiği için bloga yazmak zorlaştığından ötürü yazı yazamadım. Fakat bir arkadaşımın yeni mezun bir hukukuçuya neler tavsiye edebileceğimi anlatan bir yazı kaleme almamı ricası üzerine kendimi bilgisayarın başında buldum. Umarım bu yazıyla blogun tozunu kaldırmış olurum. Öncelikle internetteki herhangi bir yerden copy-paste yapmayacağımı söylemeliyim. Bu yazdıklarım tamamen benim büyüklerimden öğrendiğim ve yaşayarak tecrübe ettiğim şeyler. Ben halihazırda avukatlık stajımın sonuna geldim ve yüksek lisansta da tez aşamasına gelmiş bulunuyorum. Kendimden yola çıkarak da anlatacağım bazı şeyleri. Keyifli okumalar. TATİL Bu yeni mezun olmuş herkese verebileceğim ilk ve en büyük tavsiyedir. Ben mezun olur olmaz, geçiçi diplomalarımız çıkınca koşa koşa baroda staj başvur...
Post a Comment
Read more

I TOLD MY STORY!

If you ask me what’s the coolest thing I’ve ever done in my life, I’d say, “Which one? I’ve done so many cool things!” But if you said, “Come on, be serious now,” I’d tell you: the day I told my story. That was the day I felt the bravest, coolest, and most inspired. It all started when one of my close friends invited me to the  TOUCH Network storytelling event. I was like, “Cool, let’s go.” I didn’t have any expectations, good or bad, except that I knew we’d see some farm animals since the event was taking place on a farm. So we went. It was a storytelling event, as advertised, but not just random storytelling. Four people talked about struggles they had overcome in life, how they did it, and what we could take from it. It was basically like TED Talks, but with fewer spotlights and more human touch. If you know me, you know I’m all about human connection, deep conversations, and touchy subjects. So I was so happy when I realized what was going on. I had the most beautiful tw...
1 comment
Read more