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I got new journals today: 2022 ones and some plain
notebooks. No need to mention that I am a journal addict. I also revised the
2021 ones. Because you know, why not?
By doing that, I have noticed something. My 2-month-ago
problems now seem ridiculous. Not to mention my troubles from a year ago. For
instance, did you know that I couldn’t ride my bike for the first 2 weeks
because I was too afraid? Of course, you did not know. Even though I know how
to ride a bike very well and live in a country where there are bike paths
everywhere and cyclists are highly respected. Doesn’t matter. I had been
suffering from this anxiety so bad. I kept buying bike accessories but never
started cycling. Then I moved to a new
neighbourhood and things got complicated. I had lived on google maps for days.
This one was just the tiniest one of my problems. But no one
knows because everyone is handling their problems alone. I remember messaging
one of my close friends something like: should I go from pavement or the road
with the traffic? lol. Now, look at me. I literally chased an uber a few weeks
ago with my bike. I was cycling super-fast, in the traffic, with no fear. And
now I cannot imagine my life without a bike.
What I am trying to say is I have gone through so much without
people realizing it. I have gone through so much without even I realized. Because
even though it felt very challenging at that time, when it got easier, I completely
forgot the struggle. But passing the hardest part doesn't make the effort any less important. I think most of you will agree with me on this, people
are so bad at giving credit to themselves. At least, I am. Once someone told
me, ‘Even buying some tomato from the grocery stores is a challenge in this
era.’ I try not to forget this. Because yes, it is hard.
‘Thoughts are real, but they are not always accurate.’
This was also something that have been told me a few weeks
ago. Since then, it's been circling around in my mind. When you have a bad
thought, what would you do? I used to think more and deepen that thought. It
would eventually torture me. However, I am now working on this through
mindfulness exercises and I’m trying to let the negative thoughts fly away at
the moments of crisis. And I cannot emphasize enough how much it is helping me.
Yes, thoughts are real. However, they do not necessarily have to be correct.
Because our brain loves making up stories. But most of them do not come true.
Or the consequences don’t grow that bad.
Anyway. Just letting my future-self know that, don’t forget
your good days. But more importantly, don’t forget your bad days too. And as
for the upcoming challenges of 2022, whatever comes along, it will pass.
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