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Showing posts from October, 2015

Fetret

 Hayatımın fetret dönemindeyim. Ama bunalımdayım olarak algılanmasın bu. Zira bir şeylere inancı olan insan depresyona girmemeli. Benim bahsettiğim, bir nevi duraklama. Neyse ki şimdilik sadece duraklıyoruz, gerilemeye geçersek sıkıntı büyük.  Peki neden fetret dönemindeyim? Sanırım yalnız yaşamaya alışmaya çalışıyorum. Yani bu sandığımdan daha uzun bir süreç gerektiriyormuş, onu idrak ettim. Normal şartlarda da yalnız kalmayı seven biriyim. Ama tabi bunun 7/24 olması kötü hissettiriyormuş. Sabah saat kaçta uyanacağınızı, o gün ne yiyeceğinizi, neler yapacağınızı konuşacak bir kimseniz olmayınca insan deyim yerindeyse ipleri tamamen salıyor. Hiçbir işin ucundan tutmak gelmiyor içinden.  Daha senenin başındasın, ne işi gücü bu böyle diye düşünüyorsanız olaya farklı bir pencereden bakıyorsunuz sevgili okur. Ben boş kalmayı sevmeyen bir insanım. Okulum, dersim, sınavım, hiçbir şeyim olmasa dahi sabah erken kalkıp kendime iş yaratan bir insanım. Sabah dersim olsa ...

English Public Speaking

  I was sitting in my bed, eating some chocolate and watching one of my favorite English videos a few minutes ago. Then some thougts came to my mind immediately. When i watch the speaker in the video, i just think of "oh my god, how awesome his speech and pronunciation!"  The speaker grew up in America, so he is a native speaker and of course his speech must be this much perfect. But this is not only opinion that came into my mind. The other thing that came to my mind and made me write this words is, "i wanna be just like him, i wanna be an english public speaker."   Maybe some of you know, this is not a new dream of me. I am dreaming this like two years and this was something that i really want. But somehow, now i am not dreaming this anymore. And i think this is because i am not seeing myself capable for this dream and i just lost my belief. But tonight, this dream came and became active in my mind and i just thought “Why i can not be like him? ...

Challenges

  Life is tough sometimes. Actually it is tough for most of times but usually we can tolerate it. But in these days it is really difficult to tolerate it for me. It is not because i am having such hard days. It's because i am taking small problems in my life and converting into such big problems. I have no idea why am i acting like this. I am not crazy or sociopath. I guess i am a normal person like everyone. But last days, even a little problem could be enough to drug me desperate mood.   A few weeks ago i had a very long conversation with one of my neigbour. We were talking from this and that. And the main subject was really far away from my desperate mood. And she just started to talk her mother’s behaviour. As she told, her mother always make her life very difficult. It is so hard to be happy in her life. She is always complaining about problems and finally she is not happy at all. And she also have a lot of problems with her daughter,which...