Life Goes On

2 min read

Today I had a job interview. The job itself and the result are really irrelevant at this point. I might update it here later. * But there are a few points I would like to make.

I've been preparing for the last week. More accurately, I've been eating myself alive. This kind of stuff always makes me nervous. It's not like ‘Oh, I have an interview tomorrow, gotta get some work’ nervous. It's ‘OMG I can't believe I am going to be speaking with these people and they're going to put me to the test regarding the job. What if everything goes wrong. I mean, EVERYTHING!’ nervous.

I constantly expect something to go wrong, and that this experience will turn out to be a disaster. But usually, it does not. Last year, I was accepted into a PhD programme and gave three presentations, and I didn't die. I was successful in all of my attempts. But I did have several mental breakdowns beforehand, in case something goes wrong. It looks very funny when I write like this way. Even to me. But it's reality. Every task, every deadline, and everything I have to complete is, in my perspective, the most difficult thing in the world. Some of them are really hard, but most of them are mediocre. But all of them are doable. More importantly, I didn't have any disaster in a single one of them. Not even once. In the end, everything worked out fine. It's just my super-duper scary imagination.

Reminder to future self: you're allowed to be terrified. But keep in mind that nothing EVER goes as bad as you imagined. Reality is always softer and smoother than fiction. It's not that bad. It's never that bad. Don't get carried away with your imagination. You're actually a lot better than you think you are.

And regardless, life goes on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on.  

* I got the job! :)