Due Date

Everything in life has a time limit and often it's naive to think that we’ll have certain things forever. But what’s even more upsetting is, most of the time, things happen just as a  ‘one-time opportunity’ and it never reoccurs. Ever. Even though we have those people, it could never be the same. Because people change so quickly, so do the circumstances. And that’s fine because this is how life works. But it's also brutal to come to a realization that most of the things that happen to us will never happen again.

I remember some very specific moments that I’ve shared with some people. This could be with an old friend or a current one. But regardless, you can’t relive that moment. When the moment passed, it passes forever. Even though you could meet with that person again, the vibe never would be the same. And I’m not saying this necessarily as a bad thing. This is quite a natural thing. But it's also very upsetting because sometimes I miss those moments that I know I’d never have again.

There’s this quote from Heraclitus that I heard when I was in high school from my philosophy teacher and it stuck in my mind since. ‘No man ever steps in the same river twice. For it’s not the same river and he’s not the same man.’ It basically emphasizes that everything changes in time. That's why I always find it a bit pathetic to try to relive the same moments and try to feel the same emotions, even if I do it from time to time. Mourning over the past is the most natural feeling. But it is something that’ll never come back. It's something that one has to accept.

Sometimes I miss certain conversations a lot. It doesn’t even have to be a long one. But the ones you just randomly have with someone and had changed you in some way. I still have those people in my life. They’re not dead. But it's just not possible anymore to relive that moment. I know I would have other moments and memories and conversations. But what’s gone is gone. There’s no use crying over spilled milk.

I always think of life as a theatre. All our lives are separate theatre plays and we often come and go to each other’s. But we never stay. And there’s no rehearsal or revival. All of the scenes are for once and sometimes most of the people are for once. And simply because of this, I often think that we don’t appreciate things when we are in the moment. Because we don’t realize at that time that it won’t be a second time.

It’s distressing if you ask me. ‘Life. It is so relentless…’ Because I always think I’m not good for the first time. I often need to evaluate things in my head and go for a second round. Sometimes you are given the opportunity to interact with those people again, but it's not always the case. As I said, most of the time, you only cross paths with people once. And believe it or not, everybody has an impact on you one way or another. But once they’re gone, they are gone for good. When Andy Bernard said, ‘I wish there was a way to know you were in the good old days before you actually left them’* I really felt it.

*The Office, season 9, episode 27.