2 min read.
“Life is a dark road. You never really know what's up
ahead. One night you are cruising along enjoying the ride, and then all of a
sudden, you are 27.” *
One challenge after another. Has life always been this
hard? I honestly don't know. But for the last 5 months, it feels like it just
got harder. Everything is part of growing: all the experiences, every loss,
every achievement… And when i say hard, i don't know what i mean anymore.
Because the definition of hard has been changed clearly compare to the last
year or before. I feel like i am constantly fighting with something. Generally
against the bad world outside. Occasionally against myself. This is a battle
that no one wins.
Well, what have I been up to, then?
I have experienced so many different things. I have
presented in a symposium in my own language and another one in my other
own language. I have written a piece which apparently will be published.
There is going to be a paper out there that says my name- still cannot believe
it. I have passed one of the milestones of my PhD: 9 months review. I have
completed my viva and was judged to be successful. I have rented an apartment and this was one of the most difficult. I aged one more year. I've gone
ten months without seeing my family. And they all occurred during the worldwide
pandemic.
It is still tiring to be out there in a foreign land,
away from home. Doing a PhD, on the other hand, is still a delight. Regardless of the
circumstances, I am always thrilled about what academic life has to offer me. Because I have grown,
it's less lonely now. But I have also accepted the fact that loneliness can
never be completely eliminated.
And there was one thing that really helped me get through
it all—which has now become my life motto: "you didn't come this far to only come
this far."
*Himym S1E21.
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