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Showing posts from October, 2022

Balli sut

Biraz soguk aldigi zaman dunyasi basina yikilanlardan misiniz yoksa normal mi? Cumlenin gidisatindan da anlayabileceginiz uzere ben birinci gruptayim. Grip olmak her zaman beni ortalamanin ustunde rahatsiz etmistir. Birkac gunlugune de olsa yataga bagimli olmak, eski gucumun, kuvvetimin ve istahimin kalmamasi ve islerimin takibini bir sureligine de olsa kaybetmek beni ziyadesiyle uzer ve mutsuz eder. Normal karsilayamiyorum asla bu durumu. Mevsimin sonbahardan kisa donmesi, koronanin ucuncu yilini doldurmak uzere olmasi ve her gun onlarca insanla maskesiz temas ediyor olusum bile normal karsilamama musaade etmiyor. Ne zaman hasta olsam ‘Nasil yani?’ oluyorum. Bu gordugum halis mi Allahim, benim simdi burnum mu akmaya basladi? Bu kis kac kere hasta oldum, sayamadim. Covid bile gecirdim, ki bu kadar uzun sure kacmayi basardigim icin cok buyuk bir saskinliga ugramasam da insan yine de ‘flow test’te ikinci cizgiyi ustune konduramiyor. Tanidigim neredeyse herkes bu gunlerde hasta. Sokakta...

Adult

I was having a slow morning today and while cracking two eggs into a hot pan, just remembered a line someone said to me yesterday. ‘ Welcome to reality Fatima, you are an adult now. ’ Looks so accurate, right. And yet it is not. I have been thinking about this sentence for the last 24 hours and yet, it doesn’t feel right somehow. Then I played the ‘Adult’ by Ian Mcconnell. It goes like, ‘ Damn, I feel like an adult, and I'm pretty sure I really don't like it, never thought I ever would , now I'm dancing 'round a quarter life crisis ’. Check out the lyrics- it is brilliant. But unlike this song, I wasn’t feeling like an adult. At all. Then I started to think about what I have been thinking for the last few weeks. I genuinely feel like a child, and I think I am a child but unfortunately (or maybe fortunately who knows) I don’t get to act like one which is upsetting sometimes. And it’s not like a ‘having a child soul inside’ sort of situation. It’s simply resisting the f...